I’ve been thinking more about change and swan dives and leaps of faith after writing #2 Monkey Mind and Swan Dives. The karma challenge was to look at something in our lives, big or small, where perhaps we could practice a little lettin’ go in order to grow ‘n’ change.

This is difficult. Excruciatingly difficult for many of us. I have often thought that change meant disappointing or letting others down – in some way I was probably shirking responsibilities and roles. I had to get permission first.

So what happens when we want to change and we fear the above reprisals and judgements? I know this is why it took me so long to leave teaching and try a new way of living. Besides my fear of failure, the thought of disappointing others or suffering harsh judgement of my decisions, was paralyzing.

A restaurant scene flits through my head; I am having breakfast with a treasured friend and we are talking about the above dilemma, and then one of us suddenly drags a lowly crustacean into the conversation: The lobster.

Lobsters are amazing for many reasons, but what I want to consider here is their molting practice. This is not new information, and I am certainly not the first person to make these connections, but when I learned of it, it blew my mind. It also made me ask the waiter for garlic butter to dip my toast into.

Lobsters’ exoskeletons don’t expand, so in order to grow, they are forced to shed their shells in a process called molting. How do lobsters know when to start this process? They start to feel uncomfortable. Their shells become too tight, too constrictive and they can no longer grow.

Sound familiar?

During this process, lobsters are very vulnerable as their soft inner bodies are unprotected. They have to shimmy their way into a safe rock crevasse or lobster burrow so that they can molt and change with some privacy and dignity.

Feel familiar?

I have included this so I sound smart and informed (but really it only highlights my ability to cut ‘n paste):

“Ecdysis, commonly called shedding, occurs when a lobster extrudes itself from its old shell.  The overall process of preparing for, performing, and recovering from ecdysis is known as molting…During the molting process a lobster throws itself into a V-shape, lies on its side and begins to withdraw from its old shell.” (American Lobster -www.parl.ns.ca/lobster/lifecycle.htm)

Wait a second…lobsters prepare for, perform and then recover from this exhausting process? Those are very useful verbs, especially “recover”. I think this is the part we often deny ourselves or others. Change is difficult, we are very vulnerable during the process, and we will require recovery time. It’s not optional. I also quite like the idea of throwing myself into a V-shape next time I go through a change in my life. There is something quite liberating and affirming about it; V for Victory, or Vuck! This is vucking divvicult!

I have often deluded myself when I’ve thought, “Well, that’s over. Better just dust myself off and get on with this new life! Cheerio mates!”

I bet lobsters don’t do that. I bet they respect each others’ molting practices. Maybe a deep sea conversation sounds like this:

“hey, there goes Bob shimmying his backside into his burrow. I bet he’s going through the change! Good luck Bob! See ya on the other side!”

No judgements. Bob doesn’t feel the need to explain his change to others, give rationales for his molt. He just does it. And everyone accepts it. Why? Because Bob has become uncomfortable. His old shell is hurting him. He has to change. He has no choice: if he doesn’t change, then he will probably die. Actually, his shell is going to crack open whether he likes it or not, so why fight it?

So crustacean wisdom in a nutshell (or exoskeleton):

• change is an inevitable proces
• you will know when you need to change because of discomfort, stress or the feeling that you no longer “fit” in your present situation
• give yourself, and others, room and privacy to change
• give yourself time to recover after the change: you have just been through a most challenging, vulnerable time
• as long as your changes are for the good of you and All (meaning that we are talking about changes that promote your health and wellbeing), you do not need anyone’s permission to change.
• new shell doesn’t always mean a new life: it may mean a new perspective on your existing circumstance
• share breakfast with a beloved friend. They will celebrate and praise your new, shiny shell that fits you oh so well.

So there we have it folks, straight from a lobster sage. If you want to watch a super cute (short) video of some children and their parents watching a lobster molt, check this out.

I think we should take a lesson from their congratulatory clapping at the end of the video, and follow the example of one young lad who heartily sums up this incredible process:

“Congratulations, sir!”