Happy Lunar New Year! We have some incredible energies thrown our way this weekend: the new moon, the start of the Lunar New Year, and Valentine’s day.
As of today, we have kicked the Year of the Rat to the curb (to borrow from Bill Maher, it’s time to pack your sh*t and go) and have elected the Metal Ox to be our new guide: diligence, persistence and honesty are the qualities associated with the Ox, so let us take comfort in the help this faithful friend can offer. If you are interested in learning more about which Chinese zodiac animal you are and what to expect in the Year of the Ox, check this out.
Attracting good fortune is a major theme of the Lunar New Year and many practices exist to usher in good luck: cutting your hair is frowned upon as are showers, cleaning, laundry or taking out the trash. Speaking only about good, happy things and paying off debt are given the green light.
Let’s examine the viability of the above list in our present Pandemic conditions:
- It’s doubtful anyone will be getting a professional haircut soon, and we have all become pros at faking personal hygiene since working from home…so, no haircut, no shower? No problem!
- This business of paying off debt – not going to happen. I reserve my right to Mortgage.
- An excuse to not clean, do laundry or take out the trash? Live like a dirtbag? Heck yeah!
- Thinking good thoughts and counting blessings? Double heck yeah!
To celebrate the fresh start promised by the Lunar New Year, forget about doing housework and let those empty tuna tins ferment on the back deck. Grab your can of dry shampoo and get down to the Grooviness of Gratitude to hasten luck into our lives.
The first thing I am abundantly grateful for is that fact that Quebec gets a lot of snow. On a recent trip to the cabin, I decided it was time I learned how to chop wood. Dave had his reservations about this plan. Nevertheless, my need to create kindling trumped and off we headed to the wood choppin’ station beside the cabin.
After a quick lesson, Dave handed me the axe. I assumed a nice, tripod position and grabbed the axe with work-glove clad hands.
“Stand way back,” I ordered Dave.
Photo by Mikhail Nilov
Dave had already made a hasty retreat to stand alongside a massive snowbank that had accumulated behind the wood chop station.
Visions of beautifully split logs, perfect slivers of kindling danced in my head. This is not going to be difficult. All I have to do is aim towards the side of the log and nice bit of kindling will split off. Oh boy, my triceps and forearms are going to be a masterpiece!
I assumed the manly wood chop position, did a couple of slow, practice chops just like I do every year at the driving range, took a deep meditative breath, thought about how great I must look, and went for it.
At the last minute, my brain seemed to scream, “LET GO OF THE AXE!”
I think I inexplicably did just that. The axe came crashing down, glanced off the edge of the log and sailed between my legs doing a soundless triple axel. Either I had let go of it, or it had slipped out of my hands as my work gloves also shot through the tripod stance.
I gasped, bent down and gaped between my legs. I could see that upside down Dave was not bleeding. He was intact and frantically padding down his own legs.
“I think I’m okay, am I okay?!” he (rightfully) wailed.
“Yes, yes you’re fine! No blood! Oh my God I am so sorry!” I was as shocked as Dave. I could not believe I had just done that but was well aware that I had maxed out my luck for the day.
Dave scanned the scene. No axe. But a narrow, shadowy trail led into the massive snowbank he stood trembling next to. He silently handed me a shovel.
It took me a while to find the imbedded axe in that blessedly deep snowbank. As I sheepishly handed Dave the axe and explained how I would get better at this and next time he should wait INSIDE the cabin, he gestured to the shovel and declared:
“This is the only tool you should ever have in your hands.”
Sometimes in marriage, you agree to disagree. Sometimes you just have to agree.
I am grateful for heavy snowfalls, intact body parts and husbands, and guardian angels.
I am grateful for faithful friends and sisters with wicked senses of humor, family who know it all and still admit they are related to you by blood, and kind neighbors with whom to share a peaceful and safe community.
I am grateful for our professional comrades in Health and Education who, despite the unrelenting strain of increasing demands and unrealistic expectations, still show up Every. Single. Day.
And reader, I am grateful for you. For your generosity and forgiveness as I clumsily practice the craft of wordsmithery in these tales.
May my aim and accuracy with it, surpass my ability in the craft of woodchoppery.
And now, to further welcome good luck and fortune into this new year, I’d like to introduce the first Good Karma Cabin giveaway!
A copy of Embers will be sent to the lucky winner! All you have to do is leave a comment or send me a personal note via welcome page, and your name will be entered into the draw that ends Thursday Feb. 18, 2021. I will announce the winner in the next post!
An astute friend gifted me Embers a while back. You will love it. I promise. It is a beautiful collection of prose and photos from a beautiful soul.
Good Karma Cabin Lesson #4: The year of the Metal Ox doesn’t mean embracing all things metal, oh like an axe for example. Sometimes it’s good to stop Doing. Sit still and count your blessings instead. Get comfortable. You’ll be sitting a long, long time.
Oh my, looks like you dodged a bit of iron there! Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor was Shakespeare’s poetry crafted in his first pen. Keep trying, you just need to curb your excitement, focus on the quiet and flow before the axe hammers down…. or just stack wood and be the sculptor, I hear the orange helicopter can be expensive! Love your wit and unique writing. Dave, you are such a good sport! Ps..if you get a generator you can use a safe wood splitter instead:)
There are many gems of wisdom in there, Franca. “dodged a bit of iron” what a great turn of phrase to use in many situations!
Wonderful. I already have a copy of Embers (one of my faves), so I’ll let someone else have that. but I love your story. I stick to shovels as tools too.
Thank you Arlene, very kind to “pass along” your ballot. It is a beautiful collection, isn’t it? The gift of opening up to a random page that always reveals a much needed gem or chuckle. Yes shovels are far safer…I’ll be sticking to that (for now).
Once again, dying laughing imagining Dave checking his body for injury – head, hands, legs, toes, crotch… all there. So good. Love the pic of the way it SHOULD be versus the actual results of the first try (besides, the chick in the pic would have her flowing scarf tangled in the snow blower and happy couple they would have been no more….). Love it Kar…
I think crotch was at the top of his checklist! That photo – flowing scarf -loved that and the thermos of hot chocolate. Not a drop of sweat or blood in site. C’mon, those times exist in some parallel universe, right?! Thanks for your comments, as always xo
Thank you once again for providing a humorous look at what would have been a slightly traumatic event – for both of you. Your ability to draw the reader in is impressive. At first blush, I thought I would never have been able to chop the wood – good for you Karen! Only to realize, you couldn’t either.
Your Hallmark moment photo was the best and actually made me look twice.
I will get my Dave reading along as I feel it would be an eerily similar depiction should we have taken on such a project – from taped toes to axe filled snow piles.
Keep writing, I absolutely love it!
I have often fantasized about being an off-the-grid homesteader…reality is I wouldn’t last long and would certainly freeze! Oh those lovely Hallmark images make life look easy, but the humor and relatability of real life are true entertainment! Dave says to tell you that our luck that day equaled 255. Evidently you will know what that means. “From taped toes to axe filled snow piles” made me laugh – a much better title!
Thank you Karen!
A lovely way to finish the week! I laughed out loud!
The visual of you in tripod position, and the axe flying will stay with me for a while!
So glad Dave was safe…and yes, perhaps you should take on the noble role of official wood stacker! It’s still a good one! And if not…Dave should stay in the cabin…yes!
I’m with Bill…time for 2020 to go!
I don’t plan on “sitting” for a long time, but I am grateful that I’ve been forced to slow down…
Thank you for sharing another adventure! Always entertaining! xo
a good laugh and an even better bottle of wine are a superb way to finish off the week. Instead of sitting and counting your blessings, I picture you on a step machine instead! I can’t decide if I need to be the official wood stacker or wood slacker…
Love how you brought us back to your previous Socratic post about the gap between what we imagine and what is. You with your beautifully stacked wood before you even heaved the axe. We have ALL been there!
My turn to wax philosophical: If Karen stacks her perfectly split wood in a forest, is Dave, with his duct taped toe, the one who will suffer the splinters?
Keep on writing, Karen!
Sigh, it was such a pleasing image…Dave and I have been pondering your philosophical query. He firmly believes that yes, he will suffer the splinters and a headache as well.
Omg the visual I had of that scene…made me laugh hard. “Yup. Sounds like Karen”.
…after 40 years of friendship you know me well, so cheers to friends who love you, foibles, farts and all!
Phew!!! So relieved Dave want injured. 🤣I had a great chuckle at that image in your head. Lesson #4 really resonated especially today. So much to be grateful for including lovely walks and wise friends. Thank you for writing 🙏
You and Dave both! He still wakes up screaming at times. Indeed, so much to appreciate and cherish – lovely walks with wise friends are at the top of my list. More of that please!
I disagree with Dave. I don’t think the shovel is the only tool you should hold…I think it is the pen. So very much enjoying your tales. As for the wood situation, might I recommend the book “Norwegian Wood: Chopping, Stacking, and Drying Wood the Scandinavian Way” by Lars Mytting. Perhaps an idea for a Valentines gift…or your next give away?
Extremely kind of you to say, thank you Christine. The book suggestion is fantastic – I’ll be looking it up ASAP. I can only imagine what my dad (Icelandic) will have to say when he reads this post…probably something (edited) along the lines of, “why would you pick up an axe without proper research, training, safety wear. Have I not taught you anything?!” Icelandic and Scandinavian practicality and wisdom are things I obviously need to tap into more.
A lesson I learned long ago is that I am the professional wood stacker – hence I never hold the axe in hand! (Sorry I didn’t pass that tidbit of knowledge your way prior to the ‘episode’) ….So let Dave chop away and you stack and pile. There is something cathartic about creating beautifully piled stacks of wood! (And not losing a finger, toes, or really any body part)
Oh, I like that…the official wood stacker, a safer and far more dignified position. Dave sends his appreciation for this suggestion your way!