Season change is the ideal time for reflection and reset. Although I often want to leave our nasty winters behind and move to warmer pastures with eternal sunshine, deep down I know I would miss the internal alterations that accompany each new season.
Ahh summer. The perfect time to feel guilt-free about slowing down and enjoying light-filled days and warm, starry nights. Heat and humidity make it impossible to move quickly; the perfect excuse to plunk down on the nearest Adirondack chair and rehydrate with a beverage of choice.
Dulled winter senses resurrect in the sunshine. Vibrant greens provide rest for blue-screen weary eyes. Rustling leaves and birdsong are a welcome reprieve from horns and sirens that accompany exhausting commutes. On the perfect summer day, there is nothing more pressing than to sit and allow the senses to bathe in natural perfection.
Rumi reminds me of this with each afternoon nap. Frenetic play is suddenly replaced by a sudden plop on the nearest patch of shaded grass, a quick exhale of exhausted energy, and a satisfying flop of snout on perfect paws. Lucky pup – tick meds and lyme disease vaccine help ensure a safe little rest.
On this particular day, I am reminded of all my school-year endings, expected yet abrupt. Surprisingly fraught with pangs of loss and surrender. Strange, I know. Akin to running a marathon with an unexpected finish-line halt, empty streets and dispersed crowd, the quiet unsettling.
There was always some relief as well, yet the quiet murmurs of uncomfortable questions would trickle to the surface: Did I do right by those kids? Would they be okay for two months without the safety and routine of school? To whom did I cause harm with my impatience or lack of understanding? Did I miss warning signs of abuse, neglect, or emotional distress? Did I uplift and encourage enough? Did I invoke hope or frustration?
Am I ready to release the reigns of control?
Can I surrender to this ending and let go?
I often wished for student-filled comment cards, yet only personal reflection, fraught with fears of failure, ultimately served as feedback.
Cell memory ensures that the beginning of each summer will continue to be a time for bittersweet contemplation. The fine line between this and rumination is nuanced, and I have learned to notice the subtle differences: one serves its host while the other controls and eventually destroys. Rumi was appropriately named; his sweet “here and now” temperament tamper my natural inclination to drown in senseless ruminating whirls.
As summer progresses, personal doubts are replaced with something far more gentle and nurturing. Shallow breaths become deep and luxuriously long – no-rush-exhale/inhale. Cells die and are replaced with rejuvenated counterparts, ready to replenish depleted body systems. Spirit nods its consent to surrender and let go, the only way to allow summer to do what it does best – allow us to push the necessary pause button and grant ourselves permission to rest in whatever form serves us best.
P.S – full moon tonight. Perfect time to release and let go with an intentional forgiveness practice. Nothing says freedom like forgiveness.
Educators are the heart and soul of the school system and deserve recognition that reflects the magnitude and effort to develop the academic and social needs of the next generation.
💕 🥰 to all the outstanding educators may the summer allow for an emotional, physical and academic reset for all.
There is an emotional toll that remains unspoken for many reasons. Let’s hope the profession continues to attract compassionate souls who are not afraid of the challenge.
I saw the mother of a six-year-old yesterday. She said, “It’s the last day of school. THANK GOD! If I were a drinker I’d be getting sloshed.” The online school was difficult for their family. I think a summer rest will be very good for them too. 🙂
Good point – I often wondered how parents balanced their own virtual work with that of their children. Tech difficulties can exacerbate frustrations with an already challenging curriculum. I am happy to hear that family can also use the summer to regroup and relax…away from screens!
Thanks for another thought provoking post. You nailed a teacher’s year end queries perfectly. But it is those questions we ask ourselves: Did I …? Could I have….? Was it….? are the reflective questions of someone who cares and they serve to keep us sharp and encourage a promise to do better and be better – whatever our job is. Breathe, relax, repeat.
(PS: look at the picture . . . technically, Rumi is not ON the furniture….)
True Carla – that painful process does serve a valuable purpose. Also true…technically not ON the couch! 😄
As the school year comes to a close I have been pondering those exact uncomfortable questions all week! I may need to let go and forgive under the full moon tonight. I noticed that this month it’s a “strawberry moon”. Might need a strawberry margarita to help get the positive thoughts flowing!
Strawberry Moon…sounds like a good moon to let go and forgive all of our perceived shortcomings, among other things. Strawberry Moon Margherita – nice idea to ease the surrender!
Such a thoughtful post. I felt you were writing about me. I shall exhale, breathe deeply and of course enjoy that ‘beverage of choice’ or two!
All those years we drove away alone on the last day of school, many of us having a similar inner monologue..sharing it brings me a newfound sense of community. May a refreshing beverage and restful reading of Embers provide good companionship as you relax this summer